that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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