Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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