Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
