So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
