I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
