No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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