We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
