I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
