is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
