: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
