is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
