i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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