ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
