I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
