i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Pooping to opera.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
