forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I look excited, but its just a facade.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
