my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
