I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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