no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
