So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
