I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
