did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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