I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just took my morning after pill in the library
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
