Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
