i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
