you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
