So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
