did you get engaged???
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
pray to the hookup gods
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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