He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
