I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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