he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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