Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We left an ass print on the piano.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
