She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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