Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
