My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
