so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
