you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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