guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
