6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize