i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
