***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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