4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
