From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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