I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
