32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
