Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.

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(914): View more from New York

i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

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(848): View more from New Jersey

it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

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(714): View more from California

20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

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(309): View more from Illinois

The "puke-towel" started to grow something...

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween

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(937): View more from Ohio

The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.

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