There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need to sanitize my soul.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
