So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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