We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
