thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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