I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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