rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
