You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
