i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
