On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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